6.15.2010

aged 7

little andrea to alibaba,
"jinghui yiyi don't look happy today."

alibaba, "is that so?"

little andrea, "yah! can't you tell?"

*earlier that evening...

little andrea to me,
"you look very tired."

me, "ya, i am."

-------

somehow i felt comforted when i heard of it.
amazed that it came from a little girl just 7 years of age.
she asks me the most piercing and direct questions everytime we meet,
and i try to shun them everytime.

wonder as we grow older, do we become less sensitive naturally or
do we choose to simply ignore becoz it's easier this way?

i think i am often guilty of the latter.

it's sad when you are next to someone everyday but they don't see you at all.
and then along comes a 7 year old kid...

it's good to be a kid.
growing up clouds all the innocence we once possessed.

Posted by jing at 6/15/2010 09:20:00 PM

4.26.2010

(>.<,)

it seems like there are a lot of things i can be angry about.
life is unfair i guess.
i guess i just cannot come to terms with a lot of things that has happened.
and as each day passes, i find myself more and more angry inside.
i fear that one day, i might just explode.
because there is no way i can release all this pent up anger inside of me.
sadly, i know of none.
spontaneous urge of crying is starting to become a routine.
i fight it back to avoid public embarrassment.

i wish i didn't have to fight so hard.
i wish so much for things to be different.

i have to make it different.
but i know not how...

i know not how...the heart bleeds for itself.

Posted by jing at 4/26/2010 11:16:00 AM

4.20.2010

zzz

need a hug, some TLC and a long long long sleep.

but I never get what I need. sad.

Posted by jing at 4/20/2010 10:04:00 AM

4.13.2010

ゴルフ

i miss my golf.

I miss golf.

Posted by jing at 4/13/2010 10:54:00 AM

4.11.2010

believe or not

perhaps it's not possible to believe anymore.

i want to believe.
or rather, i want to be able to believe.
but perhaps, just perhaps,
part of me doesn't want to believe anymore.

perhaps it's impossible for me to believe again.

believe in goodness.
believe in love.
believe in trust.
believe in bad times not lasting.
believe in you.

i will always remain doubtful.
i don't like it but it's who i am now i'm afraid.

Posted by jing at 4/11/2010 10:21:00 PM

3.27.2010

ひみつ

sometimes i wish there was someone I could tell all these things to...

sometimes I feel as if it's slowly eating me away, and I let it.

and other times, I wished I didn't have anything to tell.

一人で何か寂しいな。。。

Posted by jing at 3/27/2010 10:23:00 PM

3.19.2010

thinkthink*

what would you do if i stopped calling?

what would you do if i stopped talking?

what would you do if you stopped hearing from me?

what would you do if you didn't see me?

would it be okay with you?

would you miss me? would i miss you?

*think*think*
(-.-,)